📃🪶 Thoughts Spilled Free to Finally Re-Read (a.k.a I Hate Writing Poems but I Love Rereading Them)
Last Updated: 3 months, 3 weeks ago
A poem about the unbearable feeling of having a poem pent up inside of you and having to get it all out so you can finally rest, and how it feels like needing to vomit sickness out of your system so you can finally fall asleep afterwards (ie how my body processes any excess of alcohol), but how rereading can actually be the therapeutic and cathartic and put you back in touch with those feelings and memories and remove the brain fog that blocking them - at least while you do so. Once I look away is when my poor working memory struggles to hold thoughts and memories in, also forgetfulness because of the ever- present ADHD and CPTSD brain fog of course.
I hate poems - writing
But I love poems - rereading
The words forced themselves up from me
Up, out like vomit
Can't be controlled, caught up in the need to get out
Out by necessity, out, rolling over
Churning, churlish, chummy churn-fest of chunder
Out, pouring out
Lest their weight pull me under, the choking champion
In this sea, full, a-storm, stormy, wavy, wavy sea of thunder
Cast round, cast wide, cast aside, cast away and far from me
Somehow I am prowed, and proud of what I read
Though it cost me to write and exhausted me
As it heaved and swirled its way away from me
But finally free in the chunderous storm to
thunderous applause and a
Chunderous pause
Roll over, roll over me, roll over and dead be, deadbeat
But finally
I'm free, free of the words in hurls
But waves of sea, foam-flecked, reach, retch for me
But finally, I'm free, freely, flightily take flightily break from it
And ride free from the snaring roaring unsoaring waves of chalk and cheese
Stalk free and unstalked from the plant of this tree
And free
So free
To finally
Reread my words
And smile, sad and see
What thoughts undrowned a mystery long lost at foggy sea of memory
And retraumed taste was finally unsea-n and remains
Now finally to be seen and tamed
But remains
Free
To be
Unspun thought
So finally
Free
Those thoughts spun spilled free
To finally clearly
Reread
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